So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
