This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
