We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
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why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My life is pants optional.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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