my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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