Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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