i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
