is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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