also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
