Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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