Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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