he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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