You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
