Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
