You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
