Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You smell like stripper and shame
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
