Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
