no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
