Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
