you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
