If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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