Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
