well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
