he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
