just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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