i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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