i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize