how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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