it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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