What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
