I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I need water and some morals
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.