"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
After tacos, we're chasing women.