i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax