If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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