I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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