so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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