The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize