Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
