wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
