There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize