I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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