I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
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Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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