FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
