he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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