I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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