Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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