Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize