I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
