I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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