I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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