I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm always down for nudity.
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