Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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