i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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