Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
