doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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