Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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