Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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