I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
