I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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