i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
